14.12.17

paranoid inlay

dreaming of
a bloody maternal body in slices
-meaning slaughtered-
and me
walking around
walking  over
standing upon as a woman
at last, without mother
so,
woman
-meaning free-

prohibition 
and you,
your reflection into my eyes
-meaning soul-
the ego i’ m trying to kill.
‘Εgo trained in action'
so i hurt myself
again and again
bitchin’ my life
making my way to silence
-not meaning serenity at all-

sadly,
there is no action in a frozen reflection
-meaning absence-
so there is no place to welcome my inner conflicts
-meaning existence-
so i keep becoming voluptuous
in a quarrelsome way
-meaning arrogance-

'sadistic jouissance’ 
as if i were obliged to -but,
I
disobey
-meaning struggling-
‘cause licking your dick
-meaning Ego-
gives me this taste of truth
i lack
the dick is the truth 
and
that is the unspoken .