paranoid inlay

dreaming of

a bloody maternal body in slices

-meaning slaughtered-

and me

walking around

walking  over

standing upon as a woman

at last, without mother

so,

woman

-meaning free-

prohibition 

and you,

your reflection into my eyes

-meaning soul-

the ego i’ m trying to kill.

‘Εgo trained in action'

so i hurt myself

again and again

bitchin’ my life

making my way to silence

-not meaning serenity at all-

sadly,

there is no action in a frozen reflection

-meaning absence-

so there is no place to welcome my inner conflicts

-meaning existence-

so i keep becoming voluptuous

in a quarrelsome way

-meaning arrogance-

'sadistic jouissance’ 

as if i were obliged to -but,

I

disobey

-meaning struggling-

‘cause licking your dick

-meaning Ego-

gives me this taste of truth

i lack

the dick is the truth 

and

that is the unspoken .